Gut Punch

Today I woke up telling myself that this is going to be a great day. Nothing is better than an overcast cold Monday. I can get everything that needs doing done inside the house and not feeling the urge to go outside to work on stuff. I made breakfast for everyone. Donny took Jackson to school. I ran Hannah to work at 8:30. It was going to work out perfectly today because she gets off at 1 and Jackson gets out at 1:20.

I made myself a different breakfast than normal, peanut butter and bananas on sourdough. I added the banana skin to my jar because the banana water makes great fertilizer for my plants.

The day was going perfectly. I lit some incense in my room while I dusted from ceiling fan to floor then hung up our freshly washed curtains.

I had this little one vying for my attention loudly.

The chickens have started laying again, to which we are very appreciative.

The day was going so well. I made the kids to-go lunches and headed out the door to pick up Hannah. When I see her walking to the car I can tell there is something wrong. When she gets in her eyes are filling with tears. I try to find out what happened but all she says is please drive. When we get on the loop headed toward the school the tears come and she starts spilling what happened.

I’m going to backup for a moment. Hannah works at Beall’s. She really likes her job. She has only called in sick once and she was really sick. She will pick up shifts when her coworkers ask her to. She will stay late if they need her to. They have a loyalty program that each employee, when checking someone out, has to get the customer enrolled in, or at least ask them to enroll. The employees have 3 levels: green means you have enrolled the number that is required, yellow means you need to step it up and red, well, we all know what that means.Hannah has never been on anything but green. Her numbers are over 500. EVERY other person in the store is on red with only about 30-40 enrolled. My point is, if you ask Hannah to do something she will do it and to the best of her ability.

Fast forward to today. There are 4 registers, but they normally only have one cashier. Hannah was the only one on the register and she had a customer whose credit card, when she ran it, was giving her a weird message that she had never seen before. They all carry walkies so they can get a hold of someone because you can’t just leave the register. She tried to get the manager on the walkie 3 times. By this time a line had formed and she was apologizing to the customers. She said everyone understood. One of the men in line said that he knew what the manager looked like and he could go find her. When Deidre, the manager, finally made it to the front she told Hannah that her walkie wasn’t working and that Hannah should have known to use the phone number to call her in the stockroom. No one had ever told Hannah that there was a number to call because they have been trained to use the walkies. None of the customers were upset, but the one who went to get the manager told Hannah, you’re too pretty to work here. You can find a better job and the manager heard him. Everything was taken care of so Hannah thought everything was okay.

When her shift was almost over the manager told her she wanted to speak to her in the stockroom. She told Hannah that she had left hangars everywhere. She had had a 200 and 300 dollar sales. The hangar holder is at the furthest register from her. She asked the manager if she could move the holder closer to her whenever she was on the register. The manager’s answer was, everyone else can handle it so you should be able too also. Then she told her that she was too slow and that the district manager mentioned that to her (the manager). This is the first Hannah was ever hearing about this. She had been told to try to keep the hangars put up and she had always tried her best to do that. Never had she been written up for anything. The manager had even given her a box with a bookshelf in it that she told Hannah to put together. It didn’t have any tools so Hannah was having a hard time. The manager came by and said, you’re not done with that yet? She did finally get it put together.

But all of this isn’t what broke her. It’s when the manager told her, “no one likes to work with you. ALL the employees and ALL of the supervisors have come to me to tell me how much they don’t like working with you”. Then throws in, “oh, a customer called and said how helpful and nice you were”. This is a grown woman who is close to my age. Hannah did not cry in front of her and did not say anything rude back to her. That was it for her though. She was devastated. She kept asking me why wouldn’t they tell me if they didn’t like working with me? She takes criticism very well, but what that woman said to her was cruel. Hannah said that she felt like the other employees liked her. They were always very nice and friendly. She respected them since she was the youngest in the store.

If you know what we went through with Hannah then you know what a punch to the gut this was for me. She has come so far and was finally gaining some confidence. I felt sick. Gavin came over to console her. I called Donny and he was ready to go scorched earth on that woman. She was supposed to work tomorrow but told me she just could not go back there. This wasn’t the first incident with the manager, but it was the first time she got personal and mean.

Hannah decided that she was done. Her confidence was shattered and she was deeply hurt. She wrote a resignation letter and Gavin and I walked it into the store. I know I should have had her do it, but she had been through enough today and I didn’t want them to just not have her show up. Deidre finally came out of the back, which I found out she stays most of the time, and took it. She just said, “well she needs to come in and fill out paperwork”. I ignored that and told her I needed the contact information for HR. She went to get it and was gone forever. She finally came out when an associate when to find her. She handed me the card and ran back to her office.

I don’t know why this woman didn’t like Hannah or why she would lie about employees not liking her. We are encouraging her to call the HR rep that actually lives here. The turnover at this store is staggering. Two supervisors just quit, once saying that Deidre has the least empathy of anyone she’s ever met. Hannah needs to let him know her side of the story, even if it’s just help someone else who might get treated the same way.

She’s going to be okay. We’ve been through so much worse. God’s lesson is somewhere in this. When He closes one door He opens a window.

I Found A Way

Everyone knows that you are supposed to drink water every day. I would always fill my tumbler up, take a few sips, and then somehow just lose the tumbler, forget about it, you get the idea. Lately I had beginning to feel dry. Kind of like my skin like a sponge left out in the sun. I googled how much water I should be drinking every day and it was a lot, 80 ounces to be exact. I knew for a fact that I wasn’t getting anywhere near that so I came up with a plan.

Every hour I would fill up my mason jar to the 1 cup mark and then I would just chug it. Think guy at a frat party chugging. I would mark it on the dry erase board on the fridge because I knew throughout the day I would lose track of how many cups I drank.

This is the third day I’ve done it and it’s been so easy. I will admit that I have probably gone through a roll of toilet paper per day but I hear that it gets better once your body adjusts. I can honestly say that I feel so much better. It’s amazing how fast it works. Hannah is even trying it out too. She has the blue tally marks. Even if you don’t like water, you can chug 8 ounces in under a minute and the benefits are so worth it.

I also found this amazing pumice stone. We have a VERY old gas stove. Even though I clean it there was always this flat burned on stain. I have tried scraping with a razor blade, baking soda, bar keepers friend, cleaning paste, really just about everything. I was in Drug Emporium and ran across this.

I thought it couldn’t hurt to try. So I got to rubbing.

You can see the spot where I started. It took a lot of elbow grease, but it came off like a charm.

I couldn’t believe how much better it looked and there were no harmful chemicals used so even better.

A Little Update

This weekend the weather was just awful. It was cold, windy and rainy. We ended up staying inside almost the whole time. The most exercise I got was changing into my chicken boots about 10 times a day to go out into our water logged yard. One morning last week, it was about 5:30 in the morning, I heard the chickens getting very restless. That’s unusual for them when it’s still dark outside. I was walking into the backyard when I saw this giant owl perched on the roof of the coop. When it heard me it flew away. We make sure that the coop is completely secured when it gets dark because there is always something trying to get to them.

We have 8 hens and they have finally started laying again, which is great with the price of eggs now.

The city is replacing the water and sewage lines in our neighborhood so our street is getting ready to get torn up. It’s going to be a pain for a while, but will be so worth it once it’s finished.

They are just about ready to be digging in front of our house. What started off as a very foggy wet day turned out to be just gorgeous.

I finally got all of the donations bagged up. There were piles sitting in our living room for weeks. Jackson and I took them to the thrift store. We decided to go inside and see if we could find any treasures. I found this planter that still had the original makers sticker on it. Even though it was completely and horribly tarnished, it was marked solid brass so I picked it up.

I started working on it when we got home.

After a lot of elbow grease mixed in with some vinegar, salt, ketchup, toothpaste and finally some brasso that I picked up at the grocery, it turned out pretty good.

Speaking of thrifting, about a week ago I picked up this little table to use as a plant stand. Who would have thought that it’s the perfect table for Donny to use while he is healing. He still has a hard time putting weight on his knee, but he finally has an appointment with a rheumatologist on Thursday. I feel so bad for him because he still goes to work and uses all of his energy there so he is wiped when he gets home. Because he becomes a stomach sleeper during the night, he’s been sleeping on the couch so that he can keep his knee from moving. I am just praying the this doctor can give him something that will help him out.

In Sickness & In Health

Today is my birthday. It has hovered around 22 degrees all day. Donny had his quarterly meeting in Dallas. Needless to say, we put off celebrating until later this next week. Those aren’t the only reasons though. Starting about 17 years ago Donny would have flare ups in his ankles and sometimes knees. It always seemed to happen around Halloween or Thanksgiving. Whichever joint it decided to hit it would cause redness, swelling and intense pain. It would last a few weeks and then just go away until the next time.

He started going to doctors. He had x-rays, blood work, you name it he probably had it. We were referred to an orthopedic doctor. He was told he had gout, but gout medication only made it worse. The weird pain would always just stay in his lower extremities and only occur once, maybe twice, a year. About a week ago his shoulder started to hurt. It then moved to his left hand. It was so swollen he couldn’t even bend it. When his hand started to get a little better it moved to his right knee. It swelled up the size of a cantaloupe and he could barely walk. The pain was intense. We were trying everything. I have googled his symptoms for years trying to find an answer. For a while I thought that it might be lupus. He had some symptoms, but not all of them and not the ones that were major markers for the disease.

I gave it one more try and did the exact Google search I have always done and this time the first 5 answers was something I’ve never even heard of. I clicked on one of them and started reading. I would bet everything I own that this is what he has. It’s called Palindromic Rheumatism. He checks off every single box. I also found a blog that a women writes about her battle with PR. Turns out it’s not very common and can be hard to diagnose. It’s different from RA because it hits hard with extreme pain and then basically goes into remission until it decides to strike again. There a few prescription drugs that help, but some have horrible side effects and getting the dose right can be tricky.

Last Saturday was particularly bad pain wise. I told him that I was going to make him a doctors appointment first thing Monday morning because we needed a referral to a rheumatologist. He was able to get an appointment on Monday. When we went in they pulled up his last blood work and told us that because his blood work didn’t warrant a referral they didn’t think they could give up one. One thing I have learned along the way is that if you don’t advocate for yourself nothing will happen and I was not going to let him leave the doctor without a referral. I KNOW doctors hate when a patient comes in and basically says, this is what I have and we need to treat it, but that’s exactly what I said. Luckily this doctor had heard of PR and agreed with me that this is presenting as exactly that. So now we are just waiting for the Rheumatologist to call us.

Here are some of the remedies we have tried because basically when Donny is in so much pain we will try anything. I chopped up avocado seeds and mixed them with alcohol and let them sit. It does work, but not for him. He takes supplements that take the edge off a little bit. He takes NSAIDS, but those can wreck your gallbladder so we have to be careful. He has started on a high dose of Vitamin D. There is an arthritis cream that my friend’s mother uses for her RA that I picked up for him tonight. My landlord has a friend whose son had very similar symptoms and the hospital told him to take Claratin everyday so I went out and got that today. I normally don’t talk to my landlord about stuff like this but I got locked out of the house today and had to have her come bring me their key. There are many other things we have tried throughout the years. These are just the most recent. Thank goodness we kept the crutches from one of his really bad flares because he’s back on them.

From more that I’ve read they don’t know the exact cause of why this happens. One of the theories is that it could be something in his diet that triggers the attacks. I found this book that we’ve been looking through. The hardest part it the trial and error because it just seems like it takes so long.

I’m hoping that something works soon. It’s so hard to see someone you love going through this.

I did end of having a perfectly good birthday though. I didn’t do anything and took a nap which was heavenly and the perfect weather for it.

Juggling

It’s only Tuesday, but this week has already been a juggling act. Donny got had jury duty on Monday. The guy settled, so there was no trial. He came home for a bit since he had taken the morning and afternoon off just in case he was chosen. I got a wild hair and decided that we needed to clean out our bedroom closet. Donny has two large fabric cubes that he had just been throwing clothes in that either didn’t fit or he didn’t like. It became a problem when every time I had to pull down my jeans basket his stuff would fall on my head. I couldn’t go through it because I didn’t even know what all was in there. Well yesterday he went through both cubes and the hanging clothes. I went through my stuff and this is what we accomplished.

That’s a LOT of stuff. During the process I looked around and thought, there’s no way we will ever finish this today. This was the bedroom mid clean.

This morning Hannah had a doctor’s appointment at 10. I had made the appointment last week. They informed me that she already had her yearly appointment scheduled for today. They said they would add what her GP had suggested be looked at. Well, when we arrived, where we always go, we were told that her doctor had moved closer to the hospital. We rushed over there and they had no record of her appointment. When he switched offices he also became the assistant chief medical doctor and all of the appointments made in 2024 were just dropped off. They were supposed to call and let us know, but didn’t. They told us that they could try to get us in in a few weeks. Nope, what they are thinking this is cannot wait. Hannah is learning how to make her own appointments and she learned an important lesson today. Everyone needs to advocate for themselves. We told them nicely that we understood there was a mix up but this can’t wait and we need to be seen asap. They were able to squeeze us in tomorrow morning at 8:15.

Next Hannah drove around our neighborhood. She’s working toward getting her license. She did really well. Longview is a scary place to drive. The amount of red light runners, DUI’s and wrecks is insane in a town of this size. Also just people driving and being on their phones adds to the problem. She’ll get there though.

She wanted to come with me to pick Jackson up so we could go thrifting. She hadn’t been able to go in a while due to work and she wanted to hang out with her brother. She found some cute tops for work. Even though she works in a department store she’s very frugal and saves her money. We were in the one we call relish when Jackson came and got me because he found some framed artwork that he wanted for our home. If you have ever been in our home there’s really no space for anymore artwork. The pictures were really cool so we bought them and I found a place that I think is just perfect.

They are right above where the cat bowls are.

The past two days have worn me out. I feel like I’m living in the kitchen when I’m at home. Last night I’m thankful that Donny cooked the steaks and all I had to make was the broccoli and rice. Tonight the kids wanted waffles, sausauge, bacon and eggs and that was alright by me. I just took a shower and really do not feel like going and cleaning up the kitchen. I’ve found that if I just go and push through it doesn’t take much time and I’m not walking into a messy kitchen in the morning. I’m getting better at staying on task and making sure what needs to get done does. Although it does sometimes feel like I’m juggling balls and keep getting new ones thrown in.

P.S.

I saw a video that if you do 10 body weight squats every hour your mobility increases. Ever since I quit working the bounce houses I feel like I’m getting creakier. The squats really help with that. Just a though.

A Hidden Gem

I know I’ve mentioned it on here before, but for a while we have been trying to go to the Morris Theatre in Daningerfield, TX. I checked the weather and on Thursday, it was supposed to be right above freezing. Hannah happened to be off and it’s Donny’s normal day off so we decided to make it a family night of going out to dinner at Arnold’s in Lone Star and then driving a few miles down the road to Daingerfield.

Hannah ended up not feeling well and Jackson was into doing something with his friends online so we decided to make it a date night. After grabbing the kids some Sonic, because I hadn’t planned on dinner since we were going out, Donny and I got a late start. Arnold’s was too crowded for us to be able to make the only showing that night, which was at 7:30. We drove to the theatre and everything was dark. Granted we were there 40 minutes before the show started. Donny peaked in and said, “Hey, they have hotdogs”, so we just decided to press out luck and have a movie concession dinner.

As we were getting out of the car the marquee lights came on.

When we got up to the ticket window we were told that our movie was playing in the upstairs theatre and the heating had gone out for that space. She told us it’s about 55 degrees, but if we didn’t want a ticket she’d understand. Oh, hell no, we were going to see a movie in this theatre. Luckily I had brought a pretty big wrap so we gave the go ahead.

At the concession we bought a large popcorn (freshly popped and it was divine), 2 hotdogs, 2 good sized drinks and a box of candy. Are you ready for it? The total was $20. So for a movie and concession it cost us $23.

When we walked up the stairs and entered the theatre, there was no one there. It was a little spooky.

We were about 30 minutes early so we just sat there munching away on our food. I know I already said it, but if you know how much I love popcorn, this stuff was AMAZING.

About 10 minutes before the movie started people started showing up and all in all there were about 15 more people. How were the previews you might ask. They don’t show previews. Instead there are little commercial ads for businesses in the town and little nearby towns.

Although we could tell when the temperature started dropping outside because it kept getting colder and colder while we watched Wolf Man. We still had such a good time and will definitely be back.

P.S.

If you are wondering how the movie was we both enjoyed it. I absolutely adore Julia Garner and will see anything that she’s in. Ozark is probably one of my very favorite series and her character was by far my favorite.

If you like the older movie, The Fly with Jeff Goldblum, it is shot very similar to that movie. If you are expecting the Wolfman to look like what you remember from older movies you will be disappointed. The special effects are very well done though. Donny and I both said that the theatre being so cold actually added to the ambiance of the film.

I Feel Seen

If you read here you know how much I love our backyard, especially the tree line that acts as a natural privacy fence. It is lush and the trees curl over making a great hiding place/chill out place for our chickens. It’s like you are in a little forest.

We had to disconnect part of the lights because of the chickens heat lamp that is in their coop.

Yesterday I was at the kitchen window and looked out. I thought our yard looked different, then my brain registered what I was seeing. The tree line was disappearing.

I immediately called our landlord. She doesn’t own the house directly behind us, but owns the white house next to it. We are friendly with the neighbor who lives there. Our landlord had no idea what was going on. I told her that I had seen a dumpster in their driveway so maybe they had moved. She didn’t think so, but something was going on. I walked over to the house and knocked, but no one was there. I opened the door to the dumpster and there was a lot of household things in it. As I was walked over to the white house to find out if that neighbor knew anything Trent, the neighbor saw me and came out. I asked him if he knew what was going on and he told me that the neighbor had died and that the daughter now owned the house. He gave me her cell number.

I took pictures for Donny because when they were cutting everything down they were just leaving it in our yard.

Today it got worse. The lawn crew was out there bright and early this morning and Donny went to tell them to get all of the branches out of our yard. They did but not before cutting every single bush, plant and tree down. It’s awful. Our whole backyard is now exposed. Before it was so nice to not have to look at the neighbors behind us. Now the whole fence is naked. When I went out to feed the chickens her two young girls were leaning over the back fence just staring into our yard. Not only is their no privacy now, but we are going to have to put up more chicken wire along the back fence so the chickens won’t jump over.

While I was out there I noticed my string lights that I had attached to our tree were down.

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They had cut right through the wires. I did call the owner and tell her what had happened. I also asked her why she had everything cut down. She just said, Oh, it had gotten overgrown. No shit, It’s a natural privacy fence. Donny assures me it will grow back some and we are planning on planting a new fence in the spring, but until then we’ll just have to grin and bear it.

Jackson asked if we could go to the thrift store today so I figured some second hand retail therapy might help. We went to Goodwill first. Ours is not that great, but I did find these plant stands for $1.99 each that I’m going to use out on the patio when it warms up and we can plant again.

We also went to the big thrift store where I found one of the two cookbooks that have been forever on my wish list. Yes, I know I could buy it new, but finding it secondhand is so much better. Plus it was only 50 cents.

I also found this 1979 bread cookbook that I am going to love cooking out of. The Julia Child book is the one I was the most excited about though. Now if I could only find the Jacques Pepin’s Le Technique. One day.

I also picked up this vintage whisk. I use a whisk everyday and I just loved this little guy.

Cooking is definitely my therapy.

Cream Cheese + Mini Thrift

Today I made cream cheese from scratch. It was SO easy! There are only 3 ingredients: whole milk, lemon juice and salt. That’s it. Here’s how I made it.

Pour 4 cups of milk into a heavy pot. Heat over low heat and stir, stir, stir. You want it to get to 190 degrees.

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Once it has reached 190, take it off of the burner and pour in 4 Tablespoons of lemon juice. It should start to form the curds. If it doesn’t add a little bit more juice.

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Stir it around and then let it sit for about 5-10 minutes to cool off a bit.

Next put a dish towel in a colander, set it in a bowl and pour the mixture into the cloth. Let it drain and then give it a good squeeze. I made the mistake of squeezing it dry. Leave a little of the whey water in it.

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The above picture is before I squeezed it out. Once you have it squeezed, add 1/2 teaspoon salt. (you can also add anything else you like in your cream cheese) I used a little blender and blended it for a couple of minutes.

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It was so good. I ate some on a skinny everything bagel. It just tastes so much fresher and not a chemical as the store bought cream cheese. The longest part is just getting the milk to 190 degrees.

Jackson and I had not really had a thrifting date in a while. When I picked him up from school on Wednesday he suggested that we hit 2 of our favorites. We didn’t find anything at the first one we went to. The second one I found 2 books that I really wanted to read. The hardbacks are only 50 cents so I didn’t feel bad about buying them. I also found 3 cute little mushrooms that I’ll use outside once the weather is better.

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I also picked up a shower caddy. I have never bought one before because our shower head is above the shower insert and it’s not level all the way down. This caddy is the exact one I would have bought if I thought it would fit, but I didn’t want to pay 30 bucks for a brand new one only to find it wouldn’t work. I was surprised that it works really well and I only spend 4 dollars on it.

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I can’t wait to reorganize the shower now.

Parenting Love Language

The other day one of my older daughters was giving me grief about making Hannah’s breakfast and taking it into her room so she could eat while she got ready for work. I reminded her that I used to do the exact same for her and her older sister. In fact, one of my oldest daughter’s friends never ate breakfast in the morning before school so I would go pick the friend up and bring her to our house so that she could have breakfast with us. To be clear, both of my older daughters have families of there own and do not live in the same town as we do or they would get breakfast too if that is what they wanted.

Every day I make Hannah breakfast and, if she is working, pack her lunch. Jackson doesn’t eat breakfast and, because he gets out of school at 2, he doesn’t eat lunch at school. Technically they don’t really have a lunch at his school. They can put in an order for food at The Spot during their break or get something our of the vending machines, but Jackson doesn’t like to do that. Therefore, I bring a lunch and drink when I pick him up so he can eat in the car. I guess you can say that that is my love language to my children.

Saturday evening Jackson and two of his friends wanted to go to Film Alley to see a movie and hang out at the arcade. I’m always worried that he might not have enough money or that one of his friends might fall short. That’s why I always give him more than he will probably need. He actually gives me back what he doesn’t spend. I picked up his friends and took them home because I actually enjoy doing that. One day both Hannah and Jackson will be ready to move out and be on their own. Until that happens I want them to be able to live a stress free life and feel nurtured and loved. And yes, they do make food for themselves if they get hungry. Granted it is mostly in the middle of the night when I’m asleep, but they are very capable young people and I adore both of them more than I can say.

Can I also mention that yesterday I realized it was 5:30 and it was still light outside. Since I’m not a winter loving person this made me so happy.

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This morning when I went outside to feed the stray cats there was this light in the trees. It was the moon! I could not believe how big, bright and low it was.

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Moon pictures never come out when I take them and I had to enlarge this so it’s wonky, but it was gorgeous.

Dining Nook Dilemma

Our poor little dining nook is hardly ever used. It has been through so many changes since we first moved into this house almost 5 years ago.

We first tried our normal dining room table. That was WAY too big.

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I had another smaller table that we used until we could find one that we really liked. This one was okay, but it was just too narrow.

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We had this round table in our breakfast nook at the house we were living in before this one.

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Unfortunately we got rid of it when we moved because we actually downsized about 50% of our belongings. I had gotten the table off Facebook Marketplace and like it, but didn’t love it.

The table we have now I actually got for free. I was helping our landlord get one of her houses ready for new renters. The old renters had left this one behind and she asked me if I wanted it. I did and I love it. It’s an antique drop leaf. I refinished the chairs that I picked up at the thrift store. They were only $2.50 per chair. The problem is that the door needed to be about a foot to the right when the house was built in the late 1950’s.

I can’t really change anything until the weather warms up because the outside plants in front of the window need to still be indoors.

This is another angle.

I would really like an island cart with seating. Something like this, but I would rather build it myself out of something I could repurpose.

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I’m sure I’ll figure it out, it’s just bugging me right now. I want something that is just more user friendly which is hard in this particular space. It could be I’m just going through a funk and next thing I know I’ll like this room again. I guess time will tell.